“Waiting for G-Force”

A Roller Coaster Review in One Act

By Jeremy Thompson

 

 

ACT ONE

____________________A roller coaster queue line. Techno Music.

____________________Noon.

____________________Eric, sitting against the steel handrail, is
____________________trying to open a bottle of cola. He pulls at it
____________________with both hands, panting. He gives up, exhausted,
____________________rests, tries again.

____________________Enter Vincent.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Giving up, throwing it away)
_______________Nothing to be done.

__________VINCENT
_______________I’m beginning to come round to that opinion. Through
_______________all my travels I’ve tried to put it from me, saying
_______________Vincent, be reasonable, you haven’t yet gotten every
_______________coaster credit. And I resumed the struggle.
_________________________(He broods, musing on the struggle.
_________________________Turning to Eric.)
_______________So there you are again.

__________ERIC
_______________Am I?

__________VINCENT
_______________I’m glad to see you’re back. I’d thought you would be
_______________stuck in line forever.

__________ERIC
_______________Me too.

__________VINCENT
_______________Together again at last! We’ll have to celebrate this.
_______________But how?

__________ERIC
_________________________(Irritably)
_______________Not now, not now.

__________VINCENT
_________________________(Hurt, coldly)
_______________May I inquire what His Highness rode last?

__________ERIC
_______________7-Up Shockwave.

__________VINCENT
_______________And it didn’t beat you up?

__________ERIC
_______________Beat me up? Certainly it beat me up.

__________VINCENT
_______________The same as usual for a stand-up?

__________ERIC
_______________The same? I don’t know.

__________VINCENT
_______________Well where were you standing? Front? Back?

__________ERIC
_______________I don’t know, I was a single rider. They just threw me
_______________in an empty seat in the middle somewhere like a dog.

__________VINCENT
_______________Don’t you remember anything about it?

__________ERIC
_______________No.

__________VINCENT
_______________Not even the barrel roll? That’s the only heartline
_______________twist on a stand-up coaster in the world. Surely you
_______________must recall something of that.

__________ERIC
_______________I remember…

__________VINCENT
_______________Yes?

__________ERIC
_______________I remember…

__________VINCENT
_______________Well, go on already.

__________ERIC
_______________I remember I was standing on the right side of the
_______________aisle. The force around the outside of the roll was so
_______________great it caused the locking mechanism on the seat to
_______________undo and slide all the way to the top position. I had to
_______________stand on my tippy-toes for the last two corkscrews.

__________VINCENT
_______________That’s all? Was it worth waiting for? Did it hurt?

__________ERIC
_______________Hurts! He wants to know if it hurt!

__________VINCENT
_________________________(Angrily)
_______________No one ever suffers but you. Some days you’re worse
_______________than a Coaster Force member, completely denouncing a ride
_______________because it touched your earlobe on one turn. My opinion
_______________doesn’t count.

__________ERIC
_______________Well, what did you think of it?

__________VINCENT
_________________________(Cheerfully)
_______________I enjoyed it very much, thank you for caring enough to
_______________ask. The first drop had three individual motions to it,
_______________drop, curve, drop. The four inversions that came after
_______________were forceful and disorienting, yet not so much so that
_______________I couldn’t look around and enjoy the scenery as we
_______________passed. But it finished much too quickly, and weak was
_______________the final turn around in the last moments.
_________________________(Musingly)
_______________The last moments…
_________________________(He meditates)
_______________Hope deferred maketh the something sick, who said that?

__________ERIC
_______________Eisner?
_________________________(Shrugs. An idle moment, Eric inspects
_________________________the dank surroundings)
_______________Charming spot.
_________________________(Turns to Vincent)
_______________But this music is wretched. Let’s go.

__________VINCENT
_______________We can’t.

__________ERIC
_______________Why not?

__________VINCENT
_______________We’re waiting for G-Force.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Despairingly)
_______________Ah!
_________________________(Pause)
_______________You sure it is open?

__________VINCENT
_______________What?

__________ERIC
_______________The ride for which we wait?

__________VINCENT
_______________The sign out front said it was open.

__________ERIC
_______________What if it was wrong?

__________VINCENT
_______________There are other people in line, too.

__________ERIC
_______________Then we should be moving.

__________VINCENT
_______________We don’t know for sure if it’s temporarily broken.

__________ERIC
_______________And if it is broke?

__________VINCENT
_______________Then we come back in an hour.

__________ERIC
_______________And then the hour after that.

__________VINCENT
_______________Possibly.

__________ERIC
_______________And so on.

__________VINCENT
_______________The point is-

__________ERIC
_______________Until it opens.

__________VINCENT
_______________You’re merciless.

__________ERIC
_______________We rode it this morning.

__________VINCENT
_______________Ah no, there you’re mistaken.

__________ERIC
_______________What did we do this morning?

__________VINCENT
_______________What did we do this morning?

__________ERIC
_______________Yes.

__________VINCENT
_______________Didn’t we do that Intamin Gyro-Spin, what’s it called? Maelstrom.
_______________It made you sick even though we were caught facing down
_______________on each swing more than half the time.

__________ERIC
_______________Let’s stop talking for a minute, okay?
_________________________(Silence. Eric looks attentively towards
_________________________the front of the queue.)

__________VINCENT
_______________What do we do now?

__________ERIC
_______________Wait.

__________VINCENT
_______________Yes, but while waiting?

__________ERIC
_______________What about hanging ourselves?

__________VINCENT
_______________Hmm. It’d give us an erection.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Highly excited)
_______________An erection! Let’s hang ourselves immediately!

__________VINCENT
_______________From the rafters? We couldn’t reach it.

__________ERIC
_______________We could always try.

__________VINCENT
_______________Go ahead.

__________ERIC
_______________After you.

__________VINCENT
_______________No, no, you first.

__________ERIC
_______________Why me?

__________VINCENT
_______________You’re taller than I am.

__________ERIC
_______________But not tall enough.

__________VINCENT
_______________Well, what do we do?

__________ERIC
_______________Let’s don’t do anything. It’s safer.

__________VINCENT
_______________We’ll wait and see if it’s any good first.

__________ERIC
_______________What?

__________VINCENT
_______________G-Force.

__________ERIC
_______________Good idea.

__________VINCENT
_______________I’m curious to see if this X-car is that much worse
_______________than the one in Madrid. Then we can decide what to do
_______________with the rest of the day.

__________ERIC
_______________What are you expecting from it?

__________VINCENT
_______________Have you not read Theme Park Review?

__________ERIC
_______________I don’t like Alvey. What did they say?

__________VINCENT
_______________Oh, nothing very well explained.

__________ERIC
_______________A three word review.

__________VINCENT
_______________Precisely.

__________ERIC
_______________A vague impression.

__________VINCENT
_______________Exactly.

__________ERIC
_______________And what was his opinion?

__________VINCENT
_______________That it was messed up.

__________ERIC
_______________And pointless.

__________VINCENT
_______________Smoother than in ’06.

__________ERIC
_______________But not smooth enough.

__________VINCENT
_______________Awkward restraints.

__________ERIC
_______________They keep ratcheting down.

__________VINCENT
_______________Too much hanging upside down.

__________ERIC
_______________Then pictures of his family.

__________VINCENT
_______________His friends.

__________ERIC
_______________The diabetic.

__________VINCENT
_______________The dinosaur.

__________ERIC
_______________The Jew.

__________VINCENT
_______________Before writing an opinion.

__________ERIC
_______________It’s a normal review.

__________VINCENT
_______________Is it not?

__________ERIC
_______________I think it is.

__________VINCENT
_______________I think so too.

____________________Silence. They remain motionless, arms dangling,
____________________heads sunk, sagging at the knees.

__________VINCENT
_______________Look!

__________ERIC
_______________I see nothing.

__________VINCENT
_______________I thought it was moving.

__________ERIC
_______________What?

__________VINCENT
_______________The line for G-Force.

__________ERIC
_______________Pah! Just a few people ahead of us ditching the queue.

__________VINCENT
_______________I could have sworn I heard screams.

__________ERIC
_______________And why would they shout?

__________VINCENT
_______________At the Bent Cuban Eight.
_________________________(Silence)

__________ERIC
_________________________(Violently)
_______________I’m thirsty!

__________VINCENT
_______________Do you want an Irn-Bru?

__________ERIC
_______________Is that all you have?

__________VINCENT
_______________I might have a Pepsi.

__________ERIC
_______________Give me the Irn-Bru.

__________VINCENT
_________________________(Rummages in his pack, find only two
_________________________bottles of Pepsi.)
_______________All that’s Pepsi.
_________________________(He rummages)
_______________You must have drank the last one.
_________________________(He rummages)
_______________Wait, I have it.
_________________________(He brings out an Irn-Bru and gives it
_________________________to Eric.)
_______________There, dear fellow.
_________________________(Eric opens the bottle and begins to
_________________________drink it.)
_______________Make it last, the drinks here are overpriced.

__________ERIC
_______________Funny, the more you drink the worse it gets.

__________VINCENT
_______________With me it’s just the opposite.

__________ERIC
_______________In other words?

__________VINCENT
_______________I get used to the muck as I go along.

__________ERIC
_________________________(After prolonged reflection)
_______________Is that the opposite?

__________VINCENT
_______________Question of temperament.

__________ERIC
_______________Of character.

__________VINCENT
_______________Nothing you can do about it.

__________ERIC
_______________No use struggling.

__________VINCENT
_______________The essential doesn’t change.

__________ERIC
_______________Nothing to be done.
_________________________(He proffers the remains of the beverage
_________________________to Vincent.)
_______________Like to finish it?

____________________At that moment they are disrupted as Powell and
____________________Louis enter together, pushing their way past
____________________Vincent and Eric. They push back and stand their
____________________ground.

__________VINCENT
_______________Excuse me, there’s a queue here.

__________POWELL
_______________Pah, what insolence!
_________________________(Terrifying voice)
_______________I am Powell!
_________________________(Pause)
_______________Powell!
_________________________(Pause)
_______________Does that name mean nothing to you?
_________________________(Vincent and Eric exchange puzzled
_________________________looks)
_______________See here, I have an RCCGB membership and fast track
_______________ticket!

__________ERIC
_______________Sir, we think the ride’s shut anyway, so you won’t be
_______________able to go now even if that is the case.

__________POWELL
_______________I see, very well. We have already been riding for six
_______________hours, that’s right, six hours on end. That is most
_______________difficult in a park filled with screaming
_______________schoolchildren and hooligans, as I cannot go for long
_______________without the society of my likes. That is why I propose
_______________to dally with you a moment before venturing further.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Indicating Louis, who waits behind
_________________________Powell vacant and panting)
_______________What ails him?

__________VINCENT
_______________He looks tired.

__________POWELL
_______________Leave him in peace. We just came off the Apocalypse
_______________drop tower, I insisted we try the stand-up floorless
_______________side.

__________ERIC
_______________Is he going to be alright?

__________POWELL
_______________Of course, he’s simply a spineless coward I brought
_______________along only because I didn’t want to waste Drayton’s
_______________2-for-1 deal. I’ll make a roller coaster enthusiast of
_______________him yet.

__________VINCENT
_______________Perhaps this isn’t the best roller coaster to start him
_______________on, if he scares so easily.

__________POWELL
_________________________(Indignant)
_______________Oh? And what would you have suggested?

__________VINCENT
_______________Perhaps the Buffalo Mountain Coaster, it’s just a
_______________simple Zamperla powered coaster that takes you through
_______________the trees along the midway and over the central lake.

__________ERIC
_______________For what it is it’s pretty fun.

__________POWELL
_______________Hmph, I think not. The queue was nearly a half hour and
_______________I don’t even count powered coasters! Of what use would
_______________that be to me?

__________VINCENT
_______________What about the Troublesome Trucks Coaster in Thomas
_______________Land, surely you would count that?

__________POWELL
_______________Indeed, I suppose I would have to.

__________VINCENT
_______________Sure, and it’s a gentle ride.

__________ERIC
_______________And smooth.

__________VINCENT
_______________Not too boring, mind.

__________ERIC
_______________One train operation, though.

__________VINCENT
_______________But it’s a quick cycle.

__________ERIC
_______________Maybe too quick.

__________POWELL
_______________How long would I wait?

__________VINCENT
_______________Oh, it’s a children’s ride. Five minutes.

__________ERIC
_______________Maybe ten.

__________VINCENT
_______________Fifteen if they’re slow.

__________ERIC
_______________Twenty if it’s peak afternoon.

__________VINCENT
_______________Absolutely no more than twenty five at worst.

__________POWELL
_______________How long did you wait?

__________VINCENT & ERIC
_________________________(Simultaneously)
_______________Thirty minutes.

__________POWELL
_______________I have better things to waste my time on.

__________VINCENT
_______________Then why do you remain here with us?

__________POWELL
_______________Tell me, what appeal is this Z-Force… J-Force… Gay-Force…
_______________anyhow you know what I mean, which has your future
_______________entwined in its queue… at least your immediate
_______________future?

__________VINCENT
_______________You wouldn’t like it.

__________POWELL
_______________Ah, but I too would be happy to try it. The more
_______________attractions I ride the happier I become. From even the
_______________roughest coaster an enthusiast departs wiser, richer,
_______________more conscious of one’s blessings. If I myself in your
_______________situation with no fast track, having to queue for this
_______________Go-Force… No-Force… G-Force… still, you know what
_______________I mean, I’d wait till the park was closing its gates
_______________till I gave up.
_________________________(He looks at his watch)
_______________But I really must be getting along, if I am to observe
_______________my schedule.

__________VINCENT
_______________Time has stopped.

__________POWELL
_________________________(Cuddling his watch to his ear)
_______________Don’t you believe it, Sir, don’t you believe it.
_________________________(Puts it back in his pocket)
_______________Whatever you like, but not that.

__________ERIC
_________________________(To Powell)
_______________Everything seems empty and dry to him today.

__________POWELL
_______________Except for Storm Force 10!
_________________________(Laughs)
_______________But I see you are not familiar with the attraction, you
_______________don’t know what that flume ride can do. Shall I tell
_______________you? A little attention, if you please. What is so
_______________extraordinary about it? The queue line. It is ordinary
_______________like any other themed attraction, filled with
_______________meteorological props and factual signs.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________Climb aboard, eight wet seats, wonder if you might be
_______________spared as they set you off down a short waterfall.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________You get wet.
_________________________(Lyrical)
_______________Only a tease of a splash, you slosh past fountains and marshland,
_______________up a lift and pours you forth, backwards.
_________________________(Prosaic)
_______________You get more wet.
_________________________(Lyrical)
_______________Another turntable, another scenic channel, another
_______________lift, and a long flow at the top, hear tireless
_______________torrents of water, it begins to nose downward… one
_______________plummet, another plummet until…
_________________________(Dramatic pause, gesture of two hands
_________________________flung wide apart)
_______________Pfft! Finished! But behind this veil of fun and games,
_______________you are left with a facade that signifies nothing more
_______________than elaborate excuse to get one soaking wet…
_________________________(His inspiration leaves him)
_______________And you spend the next hour wondering when your socks
_______________will dry.
_________________________(Silence, gloomily)
_______________That’s how it is on that bitch of a flume ride.

__________ERIC
_______________So long as one knows.

__________VINCENT
_______________One can bide one’s time.

__________ERIC
_______________One knows what to expect.

__________VINCENT
_______________No further need to worry.

__________ERIC
_______________Simply wait.

__________VINCENT
_______________We’re used to that.

__________POWELL
_______________How did you find it? Good? Fair? Middling? Poor?
_______________Positively bad?

__________VINCENT
_______________Oh, very good. Very, very good.

__________POWELL
_______________And you Sir?

__________ERIC
_______________Oh tray bong, tray tray tray bong.

__________POWELL
_______________The action and effects became sparse toward the end, didn’t
_______________you notice?

__________VINCENT
_______________Just a teeny-weeny bit.

__________ERIC
_______________I thought it was intentional.

__________POWELL
_______________You see my memory is defective.

__________ERIC
_______________But on the lifts, nothing happens.

__________POWELL
_______________You found it tedious?

__________ERIC
_______________Somewhat.

__________POWELL
_______________And you Sir?

__________VINCENT
_______________I much preferred Valhalla.

__________POWELL
_______________Gentleman, I must apologize for this themed attraction.

__________ERIC
_______________Not at all!

__________VINCENT
_______________What have you to apologize for?

__________POWELL
_______________I feel that I should do something for these honest
_______________fellows who are having such a dull, dull time in this
_______________queue.
_________________________(He jolts Louis awake, who had been
_________________________dozing)
_______________What do you prefer, shall he dance or sing or recite or
_______________think or-?

__________VINCENT
_______________He thinks?

__________POWELL
_______________Certainly. Aloud. He used to think rather prettily
_______________once. Now… so much the worse for me. Well, should you
_______________like him to think something for us?

__________ERIC
_______________I’d rather he dance, it’d be more fun.

__________POWELL
_______________Not necessarily.

__________ERIC
_________________________(To Vincent)
_______________Wouldn’t it be more fun?

__________VINCENT
_______________I’d like to hear him think.

__________ERIC
_______________Perhaps he could dance first and think afterwards, if
_______________it isn’t too much to ask.

__________VINCENT
_______________Would that be possible?

__________POWELL
_______________By all means, nothing simpler. It’s the natural order.

__________VINCENT
_______________Then let him dance.
_________________________(Silence)

__________POWELL
_______________Did you hear, hog? Or is the music already too loud?

____________________Louis finds an clear space in the queue,
____________________straightens himself, counts out the tempo of the
____________________techno music, turns to Powell. Louis dances.

__________ERIC
_______________Is that all?

__________POWELL
_______________Encore!

____________________Louis executes the same movements, stops.

__________ERIC
_______________Pooh, I’d do nearly as well myself.
_________________________(He imitates Louis, nearly falls)
_______________With some practice.

__________VINCENT
_______________Now tell him to think.

__________POWELL
_______________Stand back.
_________________________(Vincent and Eric move away)
_______________Think, imbecile!
_________________________(Pause, Louis begins to dance)
_______________Stop!
_________________________(Louis stops)
_______________Forward!
_________________________(Louis advances)
_______________Think!
_________________________(Silence)

____________________During Louis’s speech Vincent and Eric go from
____________________eagerly attentive to protesting while Powell
____________________begins dejected and disgusted, his agitation
____________________increasing until he grabs Louis to stop.

__________LOUIS
_______________Given the attempts at imitating the success of Alton
_______________Towers with prototype roller coasters quaquaquaqua and
_______________themed family entertainment quaquaquaqua that exudes a
_______________presence and purpose of friendliness and cleanliness and
_______________godliness and value for money the manor of which the
_______________Manor finds itself is limited by a capacity unbefitting
_______________its popularity and therefore calls into question the
_______________means by which the ends of which a visitor is able to
_______________find satististisfaction with their visit  in peak
_______________season with only one twelve passenger carriage and one
_______________six car train with primitive stand-up locking mechanism
_______________and one powered vehicle running two laps and half the
_______________faces of the drop tower all with cycle times of over
_______________two or over three or over four minutes it is
_______________established beyond all doubt that it is quantifiably
_______________impossible to see all and do all in a single day in a
_______________single visit and given peak season crowds one must
_______________arrive early and stay late to do all roller coasters
_______________dark rides water rides and flat rides even once and as
_______________a result it is established beyond all doubt that a
_______________single coaster enthusiast who wishes to reride the
_______________major works of Intamin and Maurer Söhne will find not
_______________enough capacity to do indoor boat rides and madhouses
_______________and not enough money to purchase lunch and not enough energy
_______________to give a damn either way but not so fast as the free
_______________parking free lockers free vouchers are good but how to
_______________assign value to a pence when every other every other
_______________pence is spent on mark-up and down the drop tower is
_______________quite fun but apart from tall towers where is the
_______________competitititive advantage over the success of Alton
_______________Towers which in an attempt to polish the brand image
_______________has left with no history no character no sense of
_______________location only colorful second rate theme zones to cover
_______________the collection of carnival rides that can be found anywhere
_______________else within space and time but on the western
_______________hemisphere but time is limited for man but time is
_______________infinite for the earth and sun and sky and earth and in
_______________the year of their Lord two-thousand and something ten
_______________one American will step foot in and back out and not be too
_______________impressed but maybe it will be better in the offseason
_______________and maybe Shockwave is fun and maybe the queues aren’t
_______________as bad in the last hour but the major work of Maurer
_______________Söhne is unique and different but the absence of brake
_______________blocking is a major mistake and…
_________________________(Conflict, final vociferations)
_______________…build a wooden coaster… three train operation…
_________________________(Silence of Louis. He falls. Panting of
_________________________the victors.)

__________POWELL
_______________That’s an end to his thinking. Thank you, gentlemen,
_______________and let me…
_________________________(He fumbles in his pocket)
_______________…let me wish you…
_________________________(Fumbles)
_______________…wish you…
_________________________(Fumbles)
_______________…what I have done with my fast track ticket?
_________________________(He searches the ground, the others do
_________________________the same)
_______________Well now isn’t that just-
_________________________(Discovers it in his wallet)
_______________Oh, here it is. Ah, it’s almost my time to ride. Then I
_______________must go.

__________ERIC
_______________Then adieu.

__________POWELL
_______________Adieu.

__________VINCENT
_______________Adieu.

__________POWELL
_______________Adieu.

__________ERIC
_______________Adieu.
_________________________(Silence)

__________POWELL
_______________And thank you.

__________VINCENT
_______________Thank you.

__________POWELL
_______________Not at all.

__________ERIC
_______________Yes yes.

__________POWELL
_______________No no.

__________VINCENT
_______________Yes yes.

__________ERIC
_______________No no.
_________________________(Silence)

__________POWELL
_______________I don’t seem able… to depart.

__________ERIC
_______________Such is life.

____________________Powell turns, heading out the exit.

__________VINCENT
_______________You’re going the wrong way.

__________POWELL
_______________I need to find a clear walkway to the station platform,
_______________this way’s too crowded.

__________ERIC
_______________Go out the front and around to the exit.

__________POWELL
_______________Thank you! Come, Louis, we haven’t much time! Adieu!

__________VINCENT & ERIC
_________________________(Waving)
_______________Adieu! Adieu!

____________________Exit Powell and Louis.

__________VINCENT
_______________That passed the time.

__________ERIC
_______________It would have passed in any case.

__________VINCENT
_______________Yes, but not so rapidly.
_________________________(Silence)

__________ERIC
_______________What do we do now?

__________VINCENT
_______________I don’t know.

__________ERIC
_______________Let’s go.

__________VINCENT
_______________We can’t.

__________ERIC
_______________Why not?

__________VINCENT
_______________We’re waiting for G-Force.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Despairingly)
_______________Ah!
_________________________(Pause)
_______________Are you sure it’s not closed for the night?

__________VINCENT
_______________What?

__________ERIC
_______________G-Force.

__________VINCENT
_______________It’s just a slow queue, not at all!
_________________________(Less sure)
_______________Not at all!
_________________________(Still less sure)
_______________Not at all.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Leaning against the queue rail)
_______________I suppose I’ll try to get some rest while we wait.

__________VINCENT
_______________I don’t know what to think any more. Was I sleeping,
_______________while the others suffered? Am I sleeping now? Tomorrow,
_______________when I wake, or think I do, what shall I say of today?
_______________That with Eric my friend, in this queue, until the closure
_______________of the park, I waited for G-Force? That Powell passed,
_______________with his timid associate, and that he spoke to us?
_______________Probably. But in all that what truth will there be?
_________________________(He looks at Eric, who has shut his eyes
_________________________and is trying to rest)
_______________He’ll know nothing. He’ll tell me about getting jerked
_______________around on Shockwave and I’ll give him an Irn-Bru.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________Astride of a grave and a difficult birth. Down in the
_______________hole, lingeringly, the grave digger puts on the
_______________forceps. We have time to grow old. The air is full of
_______________our cries.
_________________________(He listens)
_______________But habit is a great deadener.
_________________________(He looks again at Eric)
_______________At me too someone is looking, of me too someone is
_______________saying, He is sleeping, he knows nothing, let him sleep
_______________on.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________I can’t go on.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________What have I said?

____________________As he thinks, a loud voice comes over the loud
____________________speakers. Eric awakens, listens with Vincent.

__________VOICE
_______________Attention all guests waiting in line, at this time
_______________G-Force is currently down due to technical reasons. We
_______________are working hard to get it back up and running as soon
_______________as possible, and it will surely be ready again within
_______________the next hour or two. Once again, at this time G-Force
_______________is down due to technical reasons and we do not know how
_______________long it will last. We apologize for any inconvenience this
_______________may cause and hope you have a great rest of your day at
_______________Drayton Manor Theme Park. Thank you.

__________VINCENT
_______________We’ve nothing else to do here.

__________ERIC
_______________Nor anywhere else.

__________VINCENT
_______________Ah, don’t be like that. In an hour or so everything
_______________will be fixed.

__________ERIC
_______________How do you make that out?

__________VINCENT
_______________Did you not hear what the loudspeaker said?

__________ERIC
_______________No.

__________VINCENT
_______________It said that we’d be sure to reopen within an hour.
_________________________(Pause)
_______________What do you say to that?

__________ERIC
_______________Then all we have to do is continue to wait here.

__________VINCENT
_______________Are you mad? There are other rides we could be trying
_______________while they fix it.
_________________________(He takes Eric by the arm)
_______________Come on.

____________________Eric resists, they halt.

__________ERIC
_________________________(Looking at the rafters)
_______________Pity we haven’t got a bit of rope. Remind me to bring
_______________some when we return.

__________VINCENT
_______________Come on.

__________ERIC
_______________How long have we been together?

__________VINCENT
_______________I don’t know, we met on rec.roller-coaster. Maybe
_______________fifteen years?

__________ERIC
_______________Do you remember the day I rode Hydro at Oakwood?

__________VINCENT
_______________That was its opening season.

__________ERIC
_______________You gave me your rain poncho.

__________VINCENT
_______________There’s no good harking back on that. Come on.

__________ERIC
_______________Wait!

__________VINCENT
_______________I need lunch.

__________ERIC
_______________Wait!
_________________________(He moves away from Vincent)
_______________I sometimes wonder if we wouldn’t have been better off
_______________alone, each one for himself. We could have accomplished
_______________more with single rider queues.

__________VINCENT
_________________________(Without anger)
_______________I’m not certain they have single rider queues here.

__________ERIC
_______________No, nothing is certain.

__________VINCENT
_______________We can still part, if you think that would be better.

__________ERIC
_______________It’s not worthwhile now.
_________________________(Silence)
_______________Well, shall we go?

__________VINCENT
_______________Yes, let’s go.

____________________They remain standing, motionless.

CURTAIN

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